Cooking for Brevitt

How to Stand on the T

You know how it is - you roll up to the train as the doors hiss open and wait your turn to enter the car. Glancing right and then left, you quickly decide the best place to stake your claim. Shuffling your feet to the left you see an opening perfect for the ride. Then as you walk forwards you notice a man standing sideways in the car barely allowing anyone else to walk past. He doesn't move an inch, standing strong guarding his turf,  so the choice is yours: do you squeeze by or do you target his left shoulder and plow into him?

Well.....what do you do?

No this isn't some fictional story, this was my commute this morning. It's 7am, people are still tired on their way to work and the last thing you want to deal with is some toolbag who thinks he is better than everyone else by standing in the middle of the aisle. In the brief seconds I saw him there, it got me trying to understand what he was thinking - here is what I came up with:

• Gee - I look good blocking the way for everyone else.
• I am a young Investment Banker, hear me roar!
• I like looking at myself in the windows.
• It took me 3-hours to get my hair to look like this, good thing I'm standing in the way of everyone else so they can check this shit out.
• Maybe if I stand here like a douche, girls will want me and won't mind that my penis is small.
• Ya Dude - I'mma chargin ma investment bankin!

Ok, well all of those except the last one were what I was thinking.

Well being the nice guy that I am, I actually did slide right by him even though he didn't move an inch for me or the other people getting on the train. I sat patiently for three stops as he refused to move for either people getting off or on the car. Then my stop came and seeing that I was now behind him, I assumed he would have moved out of the way. After a small 'Excuse Me', he still didn't move....so although I'm usually pretty nice, I don't have time for ass hats like this.

I stepped forward and put my shoulder into his as I walked past, following that up with a bump from my messenger bag. I don't think he liked it, but I didn't really care. I think I made it worse when I gave him a wave as I walked past the window, but oh well...

So what are the lessons for today kidz?

1. Be courteous to those around you
2. Don't be a douche bag
3. Brevitt will walk into you on purpose if you are an asshole on the T

Customer Service 101

Not sure if this is an issue other T riders are having, but for some reason my Intergalactic MultiPass (otherwise known as my Charlie Card) doesn't work at certain stations. Now, I can't switch to the full Charlie Pass because I also ride the Commuter Rail and carrying two cards seems ridiculous. Odder still is that I get the most trouble using my pass at North Station - which sucks because it's where I visit the most!

This morning was particularly interesting due to the Customer Service I received - here, let me paint the picture for you.

I walk up to the turnstiles and insert my card into the Handicap station because I was told that for some reason these read the paper-type cards much better. So, insert the card and it does what I call the 'card-hump' which basically means it looks like the card is having sex with the machine as it tries to scan the information. Alas, the dreaded 'See Agent' message pops up, so off to glass booth.

Inside are two women - one who has helped me in the past and another I've never seen before. So I knock on the booth and wait until the new woman comes over. Here is how it went down from there:

• T Woman: Ya?
• Me: Umm...ya, my card didn't work and it said to come see the agent.
• TW: Ok, so what do you want me to do?
• Me: Well - this has happened before and usually the agent just uses their own pass so I can get through.
• TW: I'm not letting you use my pass - I can't leave the booth.
• Me: Ok, well what should I do then?
• TW: Just slip in after someone else uses their ticket.
• Me: Really? Isn't that illegal?
• TW: Well, I can't help you really. You should just go to Downtown Crossing and have them look at your card. Maybe you need to buy a new one.
• Me: Right, well see I already paid $163 for this one and I'm not going anywhere to get it fixed. Can't you just let me in with your pass, the other woman in the booth did it for me earlier this week.
• TW: Listen, you can't use my pass and I can't leave the booth. You will have to wait for the other woman to help you.
• Me: Umm....thanks?

Cut to the other woman coming out and using her pass to let me through, which tool all of 2.5 minutes.

So many thanks to the nice MBTA lady for letting me through and two thumbs down to crazy booth woman who wouldn't help me out. I guess I'm just curious on what her job is if she isn't allowed to leave the booth and help people - anyone have an idea?

Let me know if you have similar stories or if you have a paper-ish card that doesn't work either! It's just amazing to me that for 3 years I never had an issue with the old cards and in the 6-months or so since the new ones have been out, I've run into problems 5 or 6 times a month.

Way to go MBTA - you get two gold stars for Customer Service!

Oh...My Bad

Dear Mr F-350 Driver,

Thank you for screaming at me this morning on my way to the Commuter Train as I was walking in the cross-walk. I do apologize that I did not take into consideration your lack of eyesight or driving skills when choosing what to wear today. See - although you told me that I should be wearing 'bright clothing in the morning', I just don't think I'm down with that.

Last time I checked, pedestrians have the right of way while crossing a road at a designated cross-walk. In addition, this is the route that everyone walks to get to the train, so either you've never driven down that road before or you are just an asshole. Maybe if you weren't going 50mph you would have seen me a bit more clearly - even with my non-bright clothes. Lastly, I'm just not sure I should have to wear an orange safety vest in order to walk down the street....that seems weird to me. Besides, if a vest like that couldn't save an old man in Texas from being shot in the face by Dick Cheney - would it really have helped me out?

So thanks for making my morning that much more interesting. You didn't seem too happy with the thumbs up I gave you after you blamed me for your bad driving, but that's ok - it's hard (inside joke). 

For all your hard work at being a complete asshole, I give you two thumbs up from a guy in a tiger costume!

Crazy Red Line People

Why is it that I meet all the crazy people only on the Red Line? I regularly take the Red, Orange and Green, but for some reason all of the crazy people are on the Red Line....

This morning is a perfect example - nice easy ride on the Commuter Rail and then do the zombie shuffle to the Orange Line. Good start so far until I switch over and pop onto the Red Line. Now my trip is maybe 6 stops long once I'm on the Red, so I have the time to relax and check out who is on the car with me. So, I'm looking out at the Charles near MGH, rocking out to Ninjatune when out of the corner of my eye I see this dude stand up from his seat, grab the handlebars above him and start to do speed chin-ups!

He must have hit 25 before he sat down.....but wait, 2 minutes later he was back up there! The guy must have pushed out 150 chin-ups before getting off at Central like nothing had happened.

So has anyone seen this guy or have any other good crazy T people stories?

Let me know!

New North Station

As a commuter train rider, I've been dealing with the hell that is North Station for many years. As many know the main problem has always been space - well, the lack of space really. Too many people getting off or on the trains combined with those going to watch the B's, the C's or some circus show always caused issues. So in one of the more brilliant moves by the MBTA, North Station has gone through a face lift thanks to TD Bank North.

And the results..........well - I'm very surprised, but in a good way.

The move to expand the concourse worked, the new seating is comfortable and there is space for more than eight people, there is heat now which is nice and as an added bonus they just put up an enormous  monitor/television  that helps pass the time as you wait.

So usually people are bitching about the MBTA (ps: do we really need to rant that the train was two minutes late? please...) - but, the new North Station is a winner if you ask me.

Congrats MBTA, you get a gold star from Brevitt. Just don't fuck up now, ya hear?

Rider Guide: Getting on the T

In this episode of Brevitt on the MBTA, I'd like to present a simple guide to understanding common decency during you daily commute with the T. I hope that all my fellow passengers enjoy my thoughts.

1. When walking towards the row of ticket taking machines (those new fangled turnstiles for the old people) - don't weave in and out like some Mexican wrestler, just go with the one right in front of you.
2. If there is a wave of passengers trying to exit through the machines, pick a side - the flow is much better if outbound stays one side and inbound on the other; it's like human traffic - you do remember how to drive a car, right?
3. Just because you are in a hurry, doesn't mean everyone else isn't - slow the fuck down....trust me, there are more than enough trains going your way.
4. If you do proceed to bob and weave ala Step 1 and I cut you off or walk into you because you were the asshole, I'm not sorry - it's like any other line, if you move out of the one you are in you are stuck at the back of the row again.
5. In the off chance that you do use some form of ninjitsu and slip in front of me JUST as I'm about to slide my ticket into the machine, I will say something and it probably won't be nice
   1. Yes, that means you crazy women Tuesday morning and it also means you fat old guy last night - you cut in front of me to save yourself 10 seconds and were rude about it, so you know what - you deserved to be called out for it.

If you encounter said traveler's, here are two suggested responses:

1. 'Oh, I'm sorry....was I in your way when you cut me off............asshole.'
2. 'Oh pardon me, I didn't realize you were going to be a dick and step right in front of me. No worries pal.'

Both should garner a response of confusion and contempt, but don't be worried - they had the tongue lashing coming to them, so it's ok.

This concludes my Guide on how to ride the T. Please check back often for more tips and remember, if you are asshole long enough, eventually someone is going to put you in your place.

Cheers.

What Happened to Easy Charlie?

Remember back in the day when you paid your T fare with money or tokens....ya know - like 6 months ago? Was it easier then or is the new Charlie Card system the wave of the future? Good question if you ask me - user experience of any product, no matter how cool it is, should be the top priority. As a proud member of the MBTA MultiPass (insert Leeloo reference here now) I haven't used the new system, so good to hear feedback from a few sources.

First up is Andrew over at Changing Way (good blog by the way...go read it!). Looks like his experience with the new system went ok, although trying to figure out the new machines that spit out the ticket stubs was difficult. I'm sure the recent sub-zero temperatures didn't help either.

My friend Jenn also had a similar experience, where trying to figure out the machines seems to be the biggest pain in the ass. Instructions suck, no one is there to really help you and a line of people behind you waiting to use the machine - not a good mix. Although, again, once she actually got on the T everything was ok.

Seems like there are still some issues to be worked out. Maybe Charlie needs to revamp his user experience so people can figure out what the hell the new machines do. I was actually a fan of the old tokens - thought the old school aspect of them was pretty cool. But, the less change you have to carry around - the better!

So Charlie - fix your shit up tight pal. Instead of worrying about video game ads that appear on the T, why don't you fix the automated system instead.

Adidas Superstars: NBA Campaign

It's been many years since I owned a nice pair of shelltoes and after seeing the new ad campaign from Adidas supporting the new NBA Superstars collection - I just might have to go out and pick up a pair.....especially the Celtics version.

Adidas has 30 new designs, one for each NBA team - plus a signature track from Dan the Automater for each city as well. They have also launched a new microsite off of their Basketball section which features each design and all of the tracks for download - go check it out!

So, what the hell does this cool advertising campaign have to do with the MBTA you ask? Well - the shit is everywhere.......well, not really but at North Station the ads are everywhere. Harvard Square on the other hand is currently the mecca for Kellogg's cereal apparently. I am actually a big fan of ads in and around the T - it's much better to look at that crap than stare at the track or a wall for the few minutes it takes for the train to arrive.

What's interesting is that Adidas has a tradition of pushing out limited edition collections just like this. Another recent entry was their World City Superstar collection......

I have a good feeling on which shop developed these campaigns, but could be wrong. Either way - it's a great campaign, but offline and online pieces are really well put together.

Check out the entire NBA Superstars Collection over at Adidas and pick your favorite, but please please please - do not buy these:

Commuter Rail Insanity

So yet another new category focused on mass transit in and around Boston - Brevitt on the MBTA.....ahhh, Charlie would be proud! So, come join the fun and learn what really goes on as a daily commuter.

As a traveler that takes the commuter rail and three T lines, I encounter a new story each day and last night was no exception.

For those that have ever traveled or been near North Station during rush hour, you know how busy and hectic it can be. Add on the remodeling that the Greater Boston Bank of America Pavilion Garden TD BankNorth Center (can't we just go back to calling it the Gahden anyway?) is undergoing and chaos is everywhere. Luckily it is usually a fairly easy experience where you just follow the flow of people towards your destination...........but there is one very large group of people that I can't figure out.

Come on....you've seen them and you've probably made fun of them too - or you are one! The system is fairly easy....a train comes in, you wait for it to unload, you go to the train and you get on - done. But these people can't wait for the track announcement - nope, they wade in the shallows like hungry sharks waiting for THEIR train to show up at THEIR track number so they can rush on before everyone else. So what you say? Hey Brevitt - what's the deal you say? Well....let me tell you:

• By standing by the train waiting you actually cause more traffic because now the people getting off the train have to walk through you - thus causing more stress and more bullshit for everyone else.
• There are 18,000 seats on the train - don't worry, you will find one.
• Just because you are impatient and got on to 'save' a seat for your daily commuter friends does not mean I won't sit in that open seat, because I will.

This is all standard fare though - you can experience this everywhere you go. Now what makes this experience memorable for me is when these 'rushers' go to THEIR track to meet up with THEIR train and then.....well then, they call the train at another track. What follows is this bizarre mad dash from these people to get on the train first so they can get their seat. People run....they push.....they give you dirty looks - it's all quite funny. It is only topped by those 'rushers' who aren't quite sure what track will be called, so they walk back and forth between two of them just in case.

Now me? Well.....I just find a nice wall to lean against and wait. When the track is called, I walk over, get on the train, get a seat and go home.

It's all pretty simple folks.

So to my fellow commuter rail passengers - settle down a little bit.  Wait for the track to be called like everyone else  and have a nice evening.