You know how it is - you roll up to the train as the doors hiss open and wait your turn to enter the car. Glancing right and then left, you quickly decide the best place to stake your claim. Shuffling your feet to the left you see an opening perfect for the ride. Then as you walk forwards you notice a man standing sideways in the car barely allowing anyone else to walk past. He doesn't move an inch, standing strong guarding his turf, so the choice is yours: do you squeeze by or do you target his left shoulder and plow into him?
Well.....what do you do?
No this isn't some fictional story, this was my commute this morning. It's 7am, people are still tired on their way to work and the last thing you want to deal with is some toolbag who thinks he is better than everyone else by standing in the middle of the aisle. In the brief seconds I saw him there, it got me trying to understand what he was thinking - here is what I came up with:
- Gee - I look good blocking the way for everyone else.
- I am a young Investment Banker, hear me roar!
- I like looking at myself in the windows.
- It took me 3-hours to get my hair to look like this, good thing I'm standing in the way of everyone else so they can check this shit out.
- Maybe if I stand here like a douche, girls will want me and won't mind that my penis is small.
- Ya Dude - I'mma chargin ma investment bankin!
Ok, well all of those except the last one were what I was thinking.
Well being the nice guy that I am, I actually did slide right by him even though he didn't move an inch for me or the other people getting on the train. I sat patiently for three stops as he refused to move for either people getting off or on the car. Then my stop came and seeing that I was now behind him, I assumed he would have moved out of the way. After a small 'Excuse Me', he still didn't move....so although I'm usually pretty nice, I don't have time for ass hats like this.
I stepped forward and put my shoulder into his as I walked past, following that up with a bump from my messenger bag. I don't think he liked it, but I didn't really care. I think I made it worse when I gave him a wave as I walked past the window, but oh well...
So what are the lessons for today kidz?
- Be courteous to those around you
- Don't be a douche bag
- Brevitt will walk into you on purpose if you are an asshole on the T